Here is the letter I have sent to many people including the governor of Colorado. Please, please, pray that someone listens. If you are interested in helping out and sending a letter of your own or just changing the wording of mine, please e mail me and I'll be happy to share. Maybe if we flood their offices, they will listen and think about this.
May 25, 2010
Dear Governor:
My name is Jacquie Disque. Although I reside in Kansas, I have concerns regarding citizens of your state. I urge you to take the time to listen to my situation and assist in whatever way you can.
My sister and her husband, Karla and Suresh Maharjan, are residents of Commerce City in the new Reunion subdivision. Karla is a Physician’s Assistant and Suresh has a Masters Degree in Data Base Administration and works for a company in northwest Denver. They have been married almost four years. My sister is 42 and Suresh is 35. They have struggled with infertility their entire married life. They decided to pursue adoption, through the Foster to Adopt program, through Jefferson County and the State of Colorado. During the required classes, they became very familiar with the needs of children specifically in Jefferson County and the Denver metro area. They knew they wanted children. After having two sisters returned to a family member on four hours’ notice in September, they specifically requested children whose parental right were terminated and were “free” to adopt be placed in their care. In November, they were thrilled to receive word that they were having two girls placed with them. Parental rights had been terminated regarding both the mother and father due to continued drug use. The girls’ names are Priscilla and Marie. Priscilla is 3 and Marie is 2.
From shortly after they arrived, the girls called my sister and brother in law Mommy and Daddy. As they learned more about the situation from which the girls came, it became obvious that these girls had been through far more than most adults had been. At that time, their mother was incarcerated. Karla and Suresh were told that after the mother’s rights were terminated, she kidnapped the girls and took them to Mexico to leave them with their paternal family. She told them it was all settled in the Colorado court and it was “okay” to leave them there for 30 days. Their paternal grandmother is the one who returned them to the authorities and this is where Karla and Suresh come in. The maternal grandmother remained in Denver, lying about knowing the whereabouts of her daughter.
At the time of the girls’ arrival, on November 23, Karla and Suresh were told that all parental rights had been terminated and these girls were eligible for adoption after the appropriate amount of time. Karla specifically asked on that date if a family member expressed interest in adopting the girls, would they have a greater chance of placement and she was told no, because parental rights were terminated. They had learned during their classes that often, children in this situation are rarely removed from the foster home after three months. On the day of their placement with Karla and Suresh, an “uncle” expressed interest in adopting the girls. “Uncle” Ernie knew about the parents’ drug use, he knew the girls were in Mexico and he knew they were not supposed to be there. He sent money to support them and never notified the county that he had such knowledge. During the time since Priscilla’s birth, he had limited contact with her and subsequently Marie, until the mother’s drug use escalated. At that time, he stopped all contact with them. He did complete his home study but was allowed a much longer time to get the paperwork completed and the home study done. His home study was finally completed sometime in April, long after the initial three months that these girls were placed in foster care. The caseworkers admit that he took an unusually long time to complete the paperwork. At no time during their placement with Karla and Suresh have either one of the girls asked about their real “Mommy”, “Uncle Ernie” or any other family member.
On Friday, May 14, Match Day occurred. Prior to this, all home visits by the girls’ case worker Kelly Quinn, Karla and Suresh’s case worker, Llynnette Osorio, the guardian ad litem, Cathy and the therapist, Aimee Gee had garnered nothing but praise about how well the girls had adjusted as well as how well Karla and Suresh had adjusted. In fact, the Sunday before Match Day, Aimee, stated she was drafting a “strongly worded” letter to the committee stating that removing these girls from this home could be detrimental to their well being, cause unnecessary trauma and possible irreversible damage.
On May 14, after almost three hours of discussion and “testimony” from all of the concerned parties, custody was awarded to the uncle. The following are statements that I believe to be true. I have tried my best to keep the emotion out of it and simply state some facts.
The “uncle” is not a blood relative. He is the “common law” husband to the girls’ father’s sister. The father’s rights were terminated.
Ernie works as a Certified Nursing Assistant in a nursing home.
The above mentioned sister is here as an illegal alien from Mexico. This is documented in the home study. The county has known that since the beginning. This is the reason she can not file for placement of the kids.
Karla and Suresh were discriminated against because they are not Hispanic/Mexican. They were told that the girls needed to be with their “culture”. They are United States citizens. They are most certainly in their culture. In addition, Karla is American and Suresh is Nepali. This is truly a multi cultural family where no specific culture is discouraged. The girls have always been allowed to speak what little Spanish they know.
Karla and Suresh were also told the girls needed to be with their biological family which is certainly not the case as custody was awarded to someone who is not a blood relative. This “family” includes drug abusing parents, a mother with multiple incarcerations, a maternal grandmother who perjured herself, under oath, when asked about the whereabouts of her daughter, a paternal family in Mexico who, though they were told the girls could stay for 30 days by their mother, kept them longer and the paternal aunt who is an undocumented, illegal alien.
When Karla and Suresh inquired how Ernie was going to provide for five kids, they were told “the committee feels they can manage on food stamps.” Karla and Suresh were later told that although a full disclosure financial statement is part of each home study, finances are not a consideration in placement of children. The five children would include two of his own, Priscilla and Marie and their younger brother Isaiah, who will most likely be placed with Ernie as well.
When the caseworker, Kelly Quinn and the therapist, Aimee, came to see Karla and Suresh on the afternoon of the meeting, they stated that “never had they heard a foster family spoken so highly of and had the decision go the other way”. Aimee stated “her heart had been broken many times that day”.
The Match Committee convened for an unscheduled meeting to determine the custody arrangement. This match was done on May 14, nine days before the girls’ six month anniversary with Karla and Suresh occurred. Kelly had told Karla and Suresh that the match meetings were full through June but was able to arrange this meeting. Before Karla and Suresh could file for adoption, the girls would need to be in their custody for six months. It is understandable why Karla and Suresh question the motive behind the unscheduled, early match.
It is my belief that something, somewhere, in your system has failed these girls. In addition, many hearts have been nearly broken with the news that these girls will leave the only stability that they have probably ever known. Karla and Suresh have spoken to the caseworkers and know that Marie tested positive for cocaine at birth. If the mother was using at the time of Marie’s birth, it is almost certain she was using during her other 3 pregnancies as well. (There is an eight year old sibling, whose parental rights were terminated as well.)
Since the beginning of the week of Match Day, the girls have started exhibiting some anxiety. I am sure they are picking this up from Karla and Suresh, even though they have tried to maintain a “normal” routine. Marie is not going to sleep well and she had been since she arrived, until last week. Priscilla seems almost consumed with making sure Mommy loves her, even when she’s being a normal three year old. She is exhibiting the same behavior with everyone involved in her life from her daycare provider to her extended family and especially Mommy and Daddy.
I have a hard time understanding how this can happen to anyone, much less my family. Does it make sense to have the taxpayers of Colorado pay for these girls’ medical, dental, mental health, food stamps and support for the next 15 years? Karla and Suresh were told that Ernie will never be able to legally adopt them. He will be a “kinship guardian.” I assume he will continue to get paid to have them for the next 15 years. Conversely, Karla and Suresh, once the paperwork is complete and the adoption is final, will put these girls on their insurance. They will not require assistance from the state. That is a huge savings to the taxpayers.
As members of our family, our neighborhoods, church families and coworkers have learned of the decision, outrage, concern and heartbreak have been the leading emotions. Many people already know of the situation. Some of those people are native Coloradoans and sadly, are embarrassed to be from such a state that would do this to these children.
I could get very emotional about all of this and threaten to do this and that but I am not that type of person. I am just hoping to get one person to listen. One person to actually think and wonder if this is truly the right decision for the girls. One person who is not solely worried about “culture” and “biology” but considers much more than that when it comes to making a family. Priscilla and Marie are currently tucked into their beds in Reunion, sleeping soundly. The “transition” to begin spending time with Ernie has not yet begun. There is still time to change the outcome.
After reading the information I’ve presented, I have to ask: Do you think the decision of Jefferson County Children, Youth and Families is a reasonable one? I find that most people are reasonable and I urge you to use your reasoning in this situation.
Thank you for your time. Please contact me if you have questions. I have listed my contacts and well as Karla and Suresh’s. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jacquie Disque, RN
Getting back to normal
4 weeks ago
